NFP Talk Do’s & Dont’s

Have you ever heard someone talking about NFP, doing their very best–bless their hearts–and you just want to cring because they say something like, “Did you know Pastor so-and-so is against contraception? [Yes, he's a Catholic pastor. What do you mean?] Well he’s against NFP [NFP is *not* contraception.] Same difference, right?” [NO. And further, why is a Catholic pastor against NFP? That's a whole separate blog entry.]

I sometimes give talks about natural methods of family planning, and about the ills and myths of contraception. I’ve learned a few things along the way–what to say, what not to say, nuances that are most effective, etc. Someone I know asked me to write down some tips for others who might find themselves talking about NFP or it’s archnemesis, contraception. So here are my thoughts.

DO:
· Refer to non-approved methods of family planning as “contraception”—anything, natural or synthetic, that is contra—against—conception, be it the Pill, condoms, herbal abortafacients, abortion, or even NFP used for a selfish or unjust purpose. For a more contemporary usage (and to avoid the baggage that comes with the acronym NFP), you may also refer to “NFP” as “natural methods of family planning.”

· Be sold on the truth, and express these teachings—particularly the Church’s teaching on contraception—with a de facto joy and boldness. This isn’t just a hard thing we’re trying to convince people of, it’s a beautiful freeing gift we’re presenting to them to discover. We should be proud of it in a gentle way.

· Talk about the dual use of NFP:  NFP can be used to achieve OR postpone a pregnancy (notice how postpone implies an openness to life, and gives a less negative connotation to pregnancy.) Be a little bold, and use achieve first. If we start to communicate positively about pregnancy—that fertility is a gift and pregnancy is a good and beautiful thing—it will catch on and change the mentality.

 DON’T:
· Use imprecise language: Don’t refer to non-approved methods of family planning as: artificial birth control, artificial contraception, chemical birth control, etc. (Why? Because when we use “artificial” or “chemical” people think artificiality is why contraception is considered immoral; when , in fact, that’s not the fundamental reason for the immorality of contraception; exiling procreation from the sexual act is.)

· Be intimidated by the statistics of contraceptive use. Though we are “outnumbered,” people can sense your apprehension. Yes, it’s an unpopular and for many a difficult subject, but people will receive it more readily from someone who’s joyfully confident.

· Use the phrase “Avoid a pregnancy.” While this is the phrase you may find in some Church literature, it has a negative connotation. Use the word “postpone.”

· Emphasize the contraceptive benefits of NFP:  We’re often so aware of the contraceptive mentality of people we work with and speak to, and are used to the rejection of NFP as a valid family planning option that we’re eager to get a foot in the door by saying, “Wait! NFP is just as effective as ______..” This gives people the idea that NFP is a contraception, when it is very different. We should let people know the effectiveness when used to postpone pregnancy, but it shouldn’t be the first thing we say.