Natural Family Planning

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the Spirit of God was moving over the face of the water –Genesis 1.2

It’s very easy to become depressed in the Natural Family Planning world and arena of Humanae Vitae Evangelization. It usually happens that one becomes enthused over the discovery of NFP and the beauty of Humanae Vitae and signs up for the cause, only to be shot down by a stranger, a friend, your parish staff or pastor. It sometimes seems that the NFP world is without form and void, and that darkness is everywhere. It’s very easy to wonder, “Where is the light in this crazy arena of promoting true love and life?”

We see the light sometimes in the fruit of what we do, and we are grateful. However, more often than not, we watch the news, we get criticized, and we receive denial and humiliation in the form of excuses for what is actually just spiritual and pastoral pusillanimity from our leaders. And it’s hard.

In the first and previous article in an “NFP & Marketing” article in Family Foundations, I introduced NFP’s credibility crisis, which, briefly reviewed, goes something like this: NFP usage is low; NFP awareness is low; misunderstanding of NFP is high. Not shocking, is it? I followed my dark inauguration of the facts, however, with a brief look at some of the things NFP advocates are doing right, ranging from grassroots newsletters to researched radio campaigns and encouraging comments from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishop’s queen bee of NFP, Theresa Notare.

There definitely is good news, as I am quick to remind disheartened apostles and crestfallen friends. More and more people are discovering the Church’s teachings on marriage and sexuality. They give up contraception and often reverse their sterilizations. They return to the sacrament of reconciliation, and embrace marital chastity. It is truly awesome. Realistically, though, they are the exception, and not the rule.

It’s been over forty years since Pope Paul VI, whose baptismal name was John the Baptist, played the cultural John the Baptist with Humanae Vitae. He affirmed the constant teaching of Jesus and His Church, and predicted the consequences of the contraceptive revolution. Yet, we are still in desert with NFP amongst Catholics, and we wonder what can we do?

At the core of this crisis is spiritual contraception—a crisis of faith, and the subject of numerous articles from your favorite spiritual writers. However, this is also a crisis of personal initiative, creative solutions and professional finesse. We’re falling short as promoters and marketers of NFP. As a former full-time NFP Coordinator and Promoter, I was and am still often asked, “What on earth can we do to curb this crisis?”

An entire book—indeed, volumes—could be written on suggestions for NFP Promotion, but I will take my cue from Steven Covey on this particular effort, offering a summary of suggestions as the Seven Habits of Highly Effective NFP Promoters:

1.    Know your audience: This is the first rule of any communication, whether it’s an informal conversation, a speech or an NFP marketing effort. Who are you trying to reach with your message: the churched, the unchurched, nominal Catholics, medical professionals, young adults or established married couples? This will determine what kind of language, visual and otherwise, you will use. Also, though you may have a sense for people’s perceptions of NFP, anecdotal evidence (in the words of sociologists) is limited. Empirical and survey-based information is not only extremely helpful but also vital. One such study in progress is taking place at the University of Missouri, Kansas City. The research team led by Jacki Witt aims to study attitudes towards NFP for the purpose of promoting and teaching NFP. This is a definite step in the right direction, and is funded by an NFP grant through the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, the same funding source for Marquette University’s new NFP usage and effectiveness study. Funding from public sources certainly must come with strings attached, but the DHHS isn’t the only source of funding. There are numerous faith-based foundations out there that could be approached to fund a study of such importance. For example, how many dioceses and communities have commissioned studies on pastoral subjects from Georgetown’s Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate (CARA)? I can think of several off the top of my head, none of which included an in-depth treatment of NFP related issues. CARA’s not our only source of pastoral-academic brainpower, though. Do a well-publicized call for papers on this very subject, and I’m pretty sure you would net a good number of solid Catholic students and academics from various disciplines to tackle the problem in an intelligent way. Put this information into a consultant or marketing firm’s hands, and the results may just amaze you.

2.    Choose you words carefully: It’s amazing how much can be communicated in the specific words one uses. Tony Weschler, pro-fertility author of the secular classic, “Taking Change of Your Fertility,” may not be on board with Humanae Vitae, but she sure knows how to sell its secular counterpart. For example, she found a greater level of success in speaking about Fertility Awareness Method (FAM), secular NFP, by simply substituting the word “fluid” for “mucus.” Dr. Laurie Heap, a physician and NFP teacher in Kansas has found similar success in her parish-based NFP overview program, “Are You Healthy? Are You Happy?” a CD and workbook set which approaches the average highly secularized Catholic with more palatable language, incorporating relational and simplified science. Dr. Heap is also an NFP Teacher for the Creighton Method, which uses different language to emphasize the health and wellness factor in NFP. Creighton Method actually refers to their method as FertilityCare™, and their teachers as practitioners, which might throw some people off, but helps them to lose some of the cultural baggage that comes with people’s perceptions of NFP. Finally, I have a couple suggestions for speaking about NFP in general that have helped me to communicate more accurately and effectively. First, refer to non-approved methods of family planning as “contraception”—anything, natural or synthetic, that is contra—against—conception, be it the Pill, condoms, herbal abortafacients, or abortion. For a more contemporary usage (and to avoid the baggage that comes with the acronym NFP), you may also refer to “NFP” as “natural methods of family planning” or “non-contraceptive family planning.” Further, imprecise language confuses. Don’t refer to non-approved methods of family planning as: artificial birth control, artificial contraception, chemical birth control, etc. (Why? Because when we use “artificial” or “chemical” people think artificiality is why contraception is considered immoral; when, in fact, that’s not the fundamental reason for the immorality of contraception; exiling procreation from the sexual act is.) Also, don’t use the phrase “Avoid a pregnancy.” While this is the phrase you may find in some Church literature, it has a negative connotation. Use the word “postpone.”

3.    Foster greater unity: If we were more united as NFP Advocates, we could turn things around and turn the table on contraception. But as you may know, there have been and continue to both small and large misunderstandings, minor and major divisions within the NFP community. A lot of this is due to misunderstanding and miscommunication, and all of it is due to sin. How do we resolve this? First we need to examine our conscience to see if we have been the cause or participant in disunity, including uncharitable words, gossip, assumptions, jealously or envy, pride or arrogance, stealing (intellectual property or otherwise), or any commandment as it applies to this work. We need to confess it, make a sincere amendment, and make concrete resolutions to foster fellowship in the NFP community. Some resolutions could include fostering fellowship with other NFP teachers and promoters. Get together for coffee or idea-sharing sessions. Ask your diocesan family life office to help facilitate this, and certainly keep them in the loop if you take the lead. We will always be partial to our favorite method most likely, but we also need to understand each other’s methods better. Methodological dialogues should take place, sort of “ecumenical dialogues” for NFP Promoters. Lastly, there’s woundedness I’ve witnessed that needs to be healed, and the first place that happens is in prayer, both individual and communal—Masses, Rosaries, Holy Hours, intercession and fasting must be a regular part of what we do (see number seven), or we will fail before we begin.
4.    Networking and Connecting: This is related to number three, but more practical. Different dioceses and communities are at different levels of communications with their NFP advocates. Some are very connected, and some barely even know who their people are. Fellowship is important, as is practical support on both a diocesan and local level. Someone on a recent internet forum suggested the idea of parish-based support groups, groups that would serve to connect and support people in the use of NFP in more regular way. We also need to remember to think outside the box, and network with non-NFP groups who have similar interests, like Breastfeeding groups such as La Leche League, Natural Foods Coops, Natural Childbirth Groups and Centers, Holistic Wellness professionals, Pro-Life leaders (how often they forget about NFP!) and chastity educators. This is a great idea, but isn’t always logistically possible to do it in person. For these situations, the internet and social networking sites and online forums can be a Godsend. Whether it’s through an NFP-related blog (shameless self-plug), Google Groups, Yahoo Forums, Facebook or other social networking sites, people are connecting, and I would like to see this on a more national and international level as well.

5.    Better Creative Presence: Poor creative presence is perhaps one of our biggest weaknesses, and one of my biggest personal professional pet peeves. I could do a whole article on “How Not to Promote NFP,” which would include Photostats of lackluster examples with black strips to hide the identities of their creators. You’ve seen them. Yes, the flyers with clip art from 1992. Then there’s the brochures, which use more than two or three fonts, usually the most flamboyant ones that you can’t even read, violating all sorts of graphic design fundamentals. Then we have the classic “way too much text and no graphic” faux pas, which I see more often than I care to admit. All of these things apply to web presence as well. There are a handful of really great web sites that include various forms of attention grabbers and use new media (Flash video, audio, polls, online registration, etc.), but all too many web sites are cluttered, confusing and outdated. So much of communications are web based now that we cannot afford to slack in the online promotions. In my former position we could rarely afford a professional graphic designer (if you can—do it!), so you know what we did? We put a twenty something with some creative chops at the helm of a PC. It’s amazing what you can do with little resources and some fresh ideas! This became one of the things our office excelled at despite our lack of resources. In a related vein, there’s a general lack of creativity, buzz and outreach to the visual sensibilities of young adults. We never want to misrepresent NFP, but we are not going to break down barriers by posting an NFP event flyer with only three pictures of the presenters and their nine children, either. We need the input and ideas of young adults to do NFP outreach in their language and their media: web sites with audio and video (it’s more simple than you think), blogs, podcasts, Facebook pages, twitter updates, You Tube skits, and more. Tap the creativity of youth and young adults, and a new movement emerges with enough vivacity to turn a generation around.

6.    Youth! Youth! Youth! Many people wouldn’t put the words “youth” and “NFP” together, unless by “youth,” you mean infants born of fecund couples, but with the discovery of Theology of the Body and the existing chastity movements, we cannot afford to leave explicit mention of NFP out of the message. Prudence is fundamental in NFP’s mention and overview, of course. We never want to make NFP appear to be Catholic Birth Control or a “natural” contraceptive for their pre-martial unchastity, but in the context of the family with the support of the parish, NFP needs to be on teen radars, and needs to be de facto knowledge for the chaste young adult. Not only does it need to be prudently implemented into youth and young adult programs, but also youth’s energy needs to be harnessed to promote NFP and challenge the contraceptive status quo. One great example includes the non-sectarian and sassy Project Plus, a contra-contraceptive movement that began with one Britt Shankle at a small Virginia University and spread to others with much flair and success with its relational and wellness-based style. With a very different approach is the Anscombe Society, founded at Princeton University, which takes a more traditional philosophical and theological approach to human dignity and the goods of marriage, love and life. Two different ways, but with much fruit. I hope for a day when each Newman Center and each high school and college campus has a Project Plus or Anscombe Society, either independently or under the Respect Life umbrella. It can happen. It just starts with an idea and action, done in prayer.

7. Prayer—the Soul of the Apostolate: As I said before, we fail before we begin if we are not seeking holiness ardently. Prayer must be a constant part of our lives, and we must as intentional with our prayer lives as we are in our apostolate, our work and our family lives. We need to have a spiritual game plan (look up Father C. John McCloskey’s ‘Seven Habits of Highly Effective Catholics’), which serves as the guide on our way. Don’t forget to find a captain for your little ship. Every apostle needs a spiritual director and regular confessor. Ask around and get recommendations. Good spiritual directors are not easy to find, so persevere in your search, making sure to ask the Lord for a good guide. Above all, remain humble, foster a devotion to Mary, get to know St. Joseph, and persevere. This life and the apostolate of NFP promotion are not for the indifferent.

Teaching the truth and the good news about sex and marriage is a work of the Spirit. As I’ve written, Christians and NFP fans are consummate underdogs, but we should not shrink to share what we know to be good for souls, marriage and society. It’s true that our financial resources, professional resources, pastoral and episcopal support are often very little, if any, at best. And also, oh yes—the world is against us. “But if God is with us, who can be against us?” Don’t let this Pauline truth become cliché in your soul. God created the world out of nothing, so it’s quite possible, in Him, that we can create a brilliant maelstrom of Humanae Vitae evangelization and NFP Promotion with exactly nothing but our own weakness and a radical faith in God. All we need is to be wise as serpents with a robust daring, and we will set the world ablaze. Are you ready?

No, you’re not, but that’s exactly the point. Forward!

NFPworks is the former Family Planning Coordinator for the Diocese of Madison in Wisconsin, and currently serves in the Archdiocese of Denver. She is a freelance writer and blogger. Look for future work as she launches Ruah Consulting, a communications consulting service for the New Evangelization.