Comments on: UP & The Gift of Infertility

By: Jess

Jess — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 03:38:56 +0000

Alison, thank you so much for sharing. I felt a little wounded from some of the things flung our way from some of the providentialists who commented in the “Priest Accuses..” entry, which I know you understand, too. If you haven’t checked the comments there lately, they’re still going at it, though in a more balanced way.

NFP in and of itself doesn’t make one more deserving of a child–you’re right there. But we do have to try to live as justly and the holiest lives we can, not because we think it’ll “earn” us a child, but because in the face of an all-merciful and all-loving God (and His Mother’s watchful care), it’s the only just thing. Children are miracles, and pure gift, not commodoties, like IVF treats them. We just have to live in the present moment, and discern God’s will for us now, not in our daydreams.

It’s a suffering, and perhaps it’s a suffering the Lord gives us to give back unto him for a particular person or intention. If you don’t already have an intention for your infertility sufferings, I would pray about that with your hubbie, and see perhaps where your suffering could be directed. Perhaps for priests to be more courageous in preaching on family life issues? Perhaps for your pastor or Bishop? Perhaps for a family or friend who needs healing from an abortion or pregnancy loss? (Remember: 1 in 4 women carry the sufferings of abortion ,whether they know it or not.) Perhaps for an end to IVF and the protection of the 800,000 IVF “leftover” embryos currently frozen throughout the US? You never know. The Lord knows your heart, and he embraces you always.

By: alison

alison — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 21:59:33 +0000

I saw this movie on a plane like 2 days after our first month of “trying” ended. I remember trying to hide my tears then. And now several months later of the same result, I still tear up when I think about that movie. I think you have some good suggestions and I have to say that I agree most with your comment on large families being the only “right” size for Catholics. That is also what upset me the most in the whole discussion about NFP being used for grave reasons a while back since its not about having large families but about being open to the family God gives you. These are entirely different and often bring about the misunderstanding that you brought up.
Also, another thing I’ve been struggling with is this idea that me using NFP somehow makes me more deserving of a child. While I guess maybe it can biologically give you better chances of having that child, it in and of itself will never let me have a child. God will. Each child born is literally a miracle. So cliche but so true. Nevertheless I struggle most when I see others get pregnant on the pill or just after they get off and then immediately talk about using contraception again. I know I am where I’m at for a reason but I do admit I pray that God doesn’t think I’m so capable of carrying this burden.

By: Sarah S.

Sarah S. — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 02:37:00 +0000

Jessica – I didn’t just bawl when I saw the movie, but also when I read this post. We have also been TTC for quite a while, was pregnant once a year ago and lost it to miscarriage, and now back to not being able to conceiving. I have been using Creighton for 2 years, but b/c of finances haven’t taken all the steps to find out the problems. I, with 9 other women, will be starting the Creighton practitioner training in Denver in January. Please pray for us and those that we will be serving who are facing subfertility or infertility. I am assuming you have found a teacher in the Denver area? The ladies who are practitioners already are wonderful! We will be praying for you and your husband as you proceed in your journey.

By: Jess

Jess — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 17:15:07 +0000

Thanks, mrsblondies! There are some great blogs out there, many of whom find great success with NaPro. Glad you enjoyed UP!

By: Jess

Jess — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 17:13:46 +0000

Elizabeth, I was hesitant to write that my husband totally teared up too. You know what, our men aren’t alone! I was watching Conan while trying to sew stockings last night, and he had Elijah Wood on as a guest. Elijah’s done some animation/ voiceover jobs, and all of a sudden he was talking about UP, and how especially the scene I’m writing about made his married man friends cry (“They were inconsolable.”), and Conan said he teared up as well! Something about this movie really resonated with people, I think.

By: mrsblondies

mrsblondies — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 16:11:01 +0000

Infertility is a challenging gift/cross to have, especially since it’s hidden and few people understand it. If you need support, there are quite a few Catholic infertility blogs. Click on the link behind my name and I have a blog list of Catholic infertility bloggers. You can also email me. Most of the bloggers have done Napro. Up was a great movie and thanks for your comments on what those on the outside can do to be supportive of those dealing with infertility.

By: Finding Joy in Every Journey

Finding Joy in Every Journey — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:51:24 +0000

Can’t wait to see this film. We struggled for 5 years and have now conceived, but I do feel that our infertility isn’t “cured.” Those struggling with infertility are in my daily prayers.

By: Robert Colquhoun

Robert Colquhoun — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 23:02:35 +0000

I’ll be praying for you. The Old Testament is rich with stories about infertitlity which are powerful and have great blessings. Spiritual parenthood is also a wonderful thing.

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 20:49:16 +0000

Wasn’t it great? It was a very well written film.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 20:35:50 +0000

We also just watched that last weekend. You’re right, those first fifteen minutes are well done – not only was I bawling, but my father-in-law cried and even my husband teared up.