(c) 2011 J.Smith

My new blog cards are ‘a comin. Let me know if you like them. If I like them when I get here, I’ll send them to you if you want to hand ‘em out or leave them at random co-ops and farmers markets.

Fr. Z over at WDTPRS does what he does–some snappy commentary on the CFAM piece that describes the latest non-sensical condescension from a UN delegate whose only idea of family planning is chemical oppression or surgical mutilation.

Oh, reproductive colonialism, will you ever learn of the destruction you leave in your wake?

I’m stewing right now over a blog post I read at Natural Family Planning International, but I can’t fully comment on it right now because I have three really busy days ahead of me, and this reply will require charity and time. So, I will make a few comments, post the link, and we’ll commence discussion.

Full disclosure: I’m a Creighton fan, but I am not above a healthy discussion about its weak points, or the weak points of any NFP model.What bothers me about this post isn’t it’s critical approach–sharply critical, in fact–it is the way and tone in which it is done. This is in-fighting, which ticks me off because the NFP world has enough division and misunderstanding without things like this (See step 3 in Highly Effective Habits of NFP Promoters).

Words and ways NOT helpful to a charitable discussion to build unity in an underserved NFP community: biting sarcasm, the word “propaganda” when referring to another model, and dismissing people’s comments as “propaganda.” (As I’ve addressed elsewhere, there’s nothing wrong with deleting or editing comments, particularly if they’re not in line with your explicitly posted comments policy, but it seems that the blogger here is simply not posting comments that are directly related to the post because she doesn’t like them. I’ve never not posted a comment simply because I disagreed or didn’t like a perfectly relevant comment.)

Heather, a commenter, brings up a good point:

[H]ow does an ongoing ‘competition’ between methods that have all been proved to be beneficial, reliable and morally acceptable helping to promote a ‘Culture of Life’ and promoting the truth about NFP?  Is not the previous quotation about the CrM surpassing the other methods a competitive statement?

Mr. Kippley side steps the question: “Again the research shows that the cross-checking systems are more effective than the mucus-only methods.”

That wasn’t the question, Mr. K. The question wasn’t “Why do you think your method is the best?” Everyone thinks their method is the best. The question was: By the tone of your post, it seems like you’re picking a fight, while not footnoting your own claims, so why are you picking a fight rather than promoting dialogue when we have enough enemies on the outside?

Before I go, I want to say that I’m not calling on CrMS (Creighton) fans to lambast her with facts, anecdotes and quotes. This is clearly a one sided conversation, and I don’t think CrMS fans (or even a direct call from Hilgers or Notare) would soften their hearts. Please pray for unity and conversion in the NFP movement, and make some resolutions on how you can foster a spirit of dialogue and unity between methods in your own sphere of influence.

Jason Evert is a thirty-something A-lister on the chastity speaking circuit in the United States, and to some extent worldwide. He has got mad gifts for marrying profound truths with hip and hilarious banter that makes him a hit with both teens and adults alike. I for one am obviously a groupie. I’ve seen him twice in person. But he’s not just some motivational megapersonality. He’s got depth, a good marriage, good intellectual formation, and a spiritual life to match. Somehow in between being a husband, father and full time speaker, he finds time to stay on top of his game. He researches the medicine, science, social science behind all the philosophy and theology he studied, and combined with his engaging style, he’s a powerhouse of an advocate for purity.

“Romance without Regret,”  what began as a simple talk for teens, has branched out to a full-fledged chastity apostolate, which he balances with being an apologist for the Faith (particularly in the areas of sexual morality and chastity) for Catholic Answers. But this powerhouse of an advocate for purity knows that all the motivational talks in the world don’t make a difference if someone can’t walk the walk once they get home from that talk.

Evert’s created this collection of pithy quotes from a variety of sources to be daily inspiration in helping youth walk the often difficult walk. He mixes up no nonsense saints, philosophical saints, intuitive saints and some really holy high school students who are leading by example.

This is great book prefaced with some great advice. Do not skip the introduction by Evert. These are the words of someone who’s not just studied purity, been challenged by purity, but someone who lives and breathes it. He is clearly in love with God and greatly influenced by someone who loved purity even more–John Paul II. He reiterates JPII’s teaching by declaring,

Without an interior attitude of reverence and even awe toward the other person, human love is unable to become what it is meant to be: a reflection of the very love of God. This is why chastity is so essential even within marriage, as a reverent attitude toward the gift of sexuality.

It is on this last point that I want to close with. Clearly the target market of this book is meant for teens and young adults. This is largely indicated in the introduction, but also in the style and marketing of the book. Good for them. I think this is a great idea for youth, either as gifts or devotional texts in youth group. However, the following example reflects a lack of formation about purity in adults, and shows the great amount of inspiration that adults also need in living an integrated life of love.

I was listening to the LIA show on the radio on my way home one night. Lia is Wyoming’s version of sucroChristian radio call-in show Delilah. Lia was taking a programming break to plug some short of youth chastity web site. She was promoting this web site and the general idea of purity for kids, and she said something like, “Guys, check this site out. I think it’s great. Purity is great–but not for me. I’m married!”

I just shook my head and thought to myself that this is why some purity movements don’t always work to prepare people for holy and solid marriages. People equate purity or chastity with abstinence. Abstinence is not having sex–indefinitely or for a time. They see the ring on their finger as a “get out of jail free card” from the prison they perceive purity as. Chastity is a completely integrated approach to reverencing one’s body, including one’s sexuality. When you reverence your body and your sexuality as a mystery and gift to be given to another, and know that purity and chastity is a lifelong journey, you’re that much closer to a holier marriage and a happier life.

Obviously Evert’s on board with the fully integrated vision of the human person and sexuality. He even has done a couple materials I love for married couples including “Pure Intimacy,” one of my favorite materials to gift to NFP skeptics. But I would challenge my fellow writers, publishers, friends and NFP lovers with this: keep your  sights on the adult and married market as well. If 80-90% of Catholics are contracepting and divorcing at roughly the same rate as the rest of the population, take a look around you. Are these people being served and actively invited into purity and healing? What’s more, are the parents of the kids in the youth groups who hear these talks receiving the invitation to purity as well? Sometimes so, but more often not.

Let’s get back to work.

I went to the doctor for a check-up the other day. Since I’ve moved a lot, I’ve had a lot of doctors. I’m pretty used to handling the moment where they ask you what birth control you’re on, or figure out why the heck you’re not on contraceptives. You know how it goes. You have the stories.

I’ve schooled a holistic doc with an MD who had prejudicial ideas about NFP. I’ve sent a number of information packets. I had a pretty unsuccessful venture with an OB who I’m pretty sure worships the ACOG party line, and who by the way, made me cry with her anti-child, anti-fertility rhetoric and completely terrible and offensive bedside manner. I just about walked out before the appointment was done, but she agreed to do the tests I was asking for when I think she realized what she had said was inappropriate and even could be disciplined for it.

But I’ve never actually had a doctor basically recommend the Rhythm method to me, even though you find this kind of information on the web all the time.

It went like this (maybe imagine this as an SNL skit–insert Cherie Oteri character as my doc):

Doc: And birth control?

My husband (joint check up): We use NFP.

Me: We use a fertility based natural method.

Doc: Ok. So…any kids? [Nice assumption there.]

Me: No, not yet. We’re open right now. We’d like kids, but we’re not actively trying. I have sub-fertility, so it’s going to be difficult, and we’re not at a place to start that process personally or financially yet.

Doc: [faking objective indifference with supportive enthusiasm] So, in case you’re trying, just know that you ovulate on or around day 14. [I suppress a laugh, turn it into a smile, offering up her unknowing condescension and outdated medicine. She mistakes my silence for needing more information.] You know, the egg lasts about a day, and sperm can last three to five days [well done--good science there].

Me: [Slight nod]: Great, thanks. We’re actually pretty well versed in the whole  fertility thing. The method we use, Creighton FertilityCare, is actually a clinical step up from traditional NFP. The Doctor who created it has been researching the biological signs of fertility for 30+ years, and is able to not only to read fertility, but also discern some of the underlying causes of infertility. So…we’re pretty good on that front for now.

So, if I decide to keep this lady as my GP, I’m wondering how to broach the topic again. The reason why I didn’t correct her is that, like most doctors, she has a chip on her shoulder, and thinks she always knows more than her patients. I think in certain cases, it’s best to build a relationship before you launch into the full NFP advocacy/ correct their bad gynoperceptions. Perhaps I’m gun shy since the ACOG monomaniac shot me down. Should I invite the new doc to a Creighton Intro Session? Would she even go if it wasn’t given by a doctor? Do I buy a copy of the NaPro textbook and hit her over the head with it?

So, I’m doing my best get back into the swing of things, and to regain my sanity in my free time. Think Again Thursdays are back. We’ll start out nice and easy. Stay tuned for the post about the note I got from Cherie Blair, wife of former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair, who wrote me in response to this post and letter writing campaign to correct her. (I sent her an NFP/ TOB care package, which she got.)

But in the mean time, check out these geniuses:

“Natural family planning methods such as the calendar method, abstinence during ovulation and high risk time periods, withdrawal prior to ejaculation are generally 77-88% effective.”

And I love the disclaimer:

The content of this website is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional, medical or health care advice.

The information on this website should not be used to diagnose or treat a health condition without consulting a qualified health care professional.

Whilst we endeavour to ensure that the content of this website is accurate and correct we do not warrant its completeness or accuracy; nor do we commit to ensuring that thewebsite remains available or that the material on this website is kept up-to-date; nor can we be held responsible for any future changes that may occur in this constantly expanding area of study.

Read: We really don’t know what we’re talking about. We mostly use this page for ad revenue, but we have just enough web site design, apparent awareness and links to mislead you or reinforce your negative stereotypes about NFP.

Would you care to please email them–barrage them really–to let them know they they’re wrong, misleading, and getting ad revenue for lying: admin@methodsofhealing.com.

My comment:

Meaningful Volunteer is a volunteer placement organization currently operating in Uganda and Philippines. They place volunteers. They also teach the Standard Days Method of NFP as part of Project Lifecycle, their effort to provide family planning options in accord with the religious and ethical needs of the countries they serve. Yay, you’re thinking.

Well, except for the fact that they don’t really know that much about NPF, and evidently resent it.

They posted on the their Facebook & Twitter account Tuesday at link to an article about the Church in the Philippines, who’s been in a long, long fight against secularist pressures to mainline contraceptive methods into their country,

“Why Project Lifecycle is forced to used natural family planning methods and not modern methods like the pill and condoms.”

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t NFP a modern method? (We can have a discussion about the downfalls of SDM another time. Additionally, SDM is not the only method available in the Philippines.) Also, according to MV’s description of Project Lifecycle, this program was established to respect the regional religious and ethical preferences where they serve. Yet, this type of attitude flies in the face of the respect they supposedly trying to show.

So, if you could, please stop by MV’s Facebook page and/ or reply to their recent Tweet on this topic, letting them know that 1) NFP is a modern method and it’s amazing (your own words–whatever), and 2) Respect the countries they serve; Nobody’s forcing them to do anything–if they don’t want to teach SDM, let Project Lifecycle go. In order to comment on their FB page, you have to become a fan of MV (you can undo this later if you want), and if you want to reply to a Tweet, I believe you need to follow first. Small price to let them know.

Update: Here’s Meaningful Volunteer’s reply to me on Facebook (Please do jump in on FB if you disagree with this!):

oops. I stand corrected. SDM is obviously a modern method.

I would disagree that _natural family planing_ is a modern method though. People have been avoiding having babies by natural means ever since humankind got the whole “sperm + egg = babies” concept.

I would also wholeheartedly disagree with the link on njnfp.org that states natural family planning methods are 99% effective.

Why is it that people take about 10 seconds to look at something–not being as scientific as they claim they are–then decide that NFP is still what they incorrectly judge it to be? What really gets me is that they think SDM is more effective than NFP (Ovulation and Sympto-thermal).

Matthew Archibold at Creative Minority Report, one of my fav funny, faithy commentary blogs, discovers first-hand how ironic contracepting organic folks are.

Prologue: I’ve updated the Think Again Thursdays Update with my comments on Rachel Bereit’s letter to NFPers.

The organization that got its name from family planning has at least one franchise exec who’s actually aware of planning *and* families.  Laura Wershler is evidently progressive and gutsy enough not only to promote NFP as a real family planning option, but to lament its constant sidelining by prejudicial, unprogressive and unscientific foes,

The continued popularity of the pill doesn’t indicate it is the best form of birth control for women, said Laura Wershler, executive director of Sexual Health Access Alberta in Calgary. Instead, she said, it indicates women don’t know enough about their options.

“What I see in our communities is an absolute failure to move beyond the idea that hormonal birth control is the be-all and end-all,” Wershler said. “What’s happening is we’re not developing support programs and advocacy for women looking for non-hormonal methods.”

Natural family-planning methods, or fertility-awareness methods, whereby a woman determines the fertile and non-fertile times of her monthly cycle, aren’t often taken seriously by physicians, she added.

“There’s this lack of knowledge and understanding within my own field,” Wershler said. “Women are going to sexual health clinics and being laughed off by the doctors and clinics for looking for alternatives.”

Alison Cross, of Canwest, a sort of Canadian Associated Press, wrote this fantastic article, “Women Look Behind the Pill,” which told the wider world what NFPers have known all along: the Pill, the Patch & Shot are not panaceas, and even can do a lot of harm. Women and families want something else, something better.

I was excited to see a FAM advocate I’d previously featured in a post, but couldn’t believe it when Wershler, whom I later found out is the Exec Director of what is apparently a Planned Parenthood franchise, said so many sane, sensible, scientific and frankly pro-woman things about NFP/FAM She wasn’t exactly signing off on Humanae Vitae, but that fact that she was so intelligent, well spoken and that she frankly advocated NFP/ FAM and chastised medical professionals, rocked one big Boo-ya for NFP/ FAM advocates.

I wonder if Rachel Bereit would be interested in applying to Wershler’s clinic? Better yet, what would Weshler’s response be?

Em, I'm looking for more correct information on NFP. Anyone?

Here’s the belated Think Again Thursday post, and one I’ve wanted to do for a couple weeks since I read about Cherie Blair’s latest verbal blunder regarding family planning.

Now Mrs. Blair’s no rookie in the Church teaching disobedience department. She’s a regular on the the-Church-should-change-her-teaching-on-contraception circuit, grinding her axe at every turn. In fact, the article prompting this latest edition of Think Again Thursday is a perfect example. It’s evidently a piece about her attitude about money, lifestyle and don’t miss this segueway, “Mrs Blair also says in the interview, in the January edition out on Thursday, that MPs have been pilloried over their expenses. ‘They saw it as an allowance, which is not the same thing.’…An ardent Catholic, she says she hopes that the Church will change its view on contraception.” I’m sorry, what does one have to do with the other? Journalism has gone as far downhill as faith.

Theological misinformation and journalistic disability aside, my beef is largely with this statement, which I believe my readers (of all faiths/ political viewpoints) will have a problem with (the money line in bold):

The Church says that sex is not just for procreation and does allow the natural form of contraception. Personally, I think it is better to go for contraception that works, which is quite different from abortion.

In this letter writing campaign, I’d like to find out if this is the correct quote, as the syntax here isn’t exactly the well-worded style of an experienced barrister.

That aside, it’s clear that legal education and worldly knowledge don’t exactly equal understanding and certainly not wisdom. Would you help me in blogging about this, and in particular by contacting Mrs. Blair to correct and clarify the statement that NFP doesn’t work?

My fellow Catholics may wonder why I’m not calling for a firm correction of her misunderstanding of Christian teaching on marriage, sexuality, family and family planning. I’m glad you asked. Personally, I will send her a Theology of the Body text, either Theology of the Body for Beginners (West) or Called to Love (Anderson), and will invite her to a further broadening of her and mind and formation. However, I don’t make as big a deal of it as I’d like to here because, frankly, she seems like a prideful person who’s more open to science than faith. And I’d really like her to see that even in a secular, medical sense–she’s wrong.

It is interesting that Mrs. Blair is clearly accomplished in a worldly sense, and is passionate about women’s issues, yet continues to promote health “services,” particularly contraception, that have NOT liberated women as originally thought. In this review of a number of sociological, economical and anthropological studies one thing is clear: free love wasn’t free, and contraception, the fuel for the sexual revolution, was less of a liberator and more of an arsonist for society. Ironically, women, minorities and children have suffered the most. “We must make it crystal clear that the church’s commitment to the poor requires nothing less than a vigorous proclamation of the church’s true and beautiful teaching about sex and marriage. In other words, we must make it clear that the preferential option for the poor begins in the home.” If Mrs. Blair is concerned about social justice for the women, children and the poor, then she needs to THINK AGAIN about her stance on contraception.

Contact information for Mrs. Blair:

Email: mediarequest@cherieblairoffice.org
Cherie Blair Foundation

Physical Address (c/o the Tony Blair Office):

The Office of Tony Blair
P.O. Box 60519
London
W2 7JU
United Kingdom

Guideline text:

[Salutation of your choice]

You have a wide reputation as an intelligent woman, and a proponent of women’s liberation and rights. I’m writing to say that I am as well, and I thank you for many of your efforts to promote social justice.

[Something brief about yourself.]

I’m also passionate about social justice, and have found personally that natural methods of family planning (or NFP) have been extremely liberating not only in my life, but in the life of women and families around the world. I found it interesting to note, however, in a recent interview that you were quoted as dismissing natural methods of family planning, saying “Personally, I think it’s better to go for contraception that works.” You are an educated and intelligent woman. Did you actually say this?

If so, not only does NFP “work” to postpone pregnancy, but this journal article from the Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine even recommends that it’s something all OB/GYN’s and family practice physicians could benefit from learning and even teaching.

http://www.jabfm.org/cgi/content/full/22/2/147

You may also be interested in this study by UK researchers, in which lead researcher Dr Petra Frank-Herrmann said: “We maintain that the effectiveness of the Sympto-thermal method is comparable to the effectiveness of modern contraceptive methods such as oral contraceptives, and is an effective and acceptable method of family planning.” (Human Reproduction 2007 22(5):1310-1319; doi:10.1093/humrep/dem003)

For a clinical web site with information on one of several modern NFP methods with a medical imprimatur, see www.fertilitycare.org.

[optional:] I know that your unfavorable and under-informed opinion of NFP perhaps comes from a prejudice against the Catholic Church’s constant teaching on marriage and family which you see as oppressive, but be assured of two things: first, many, many users of NFP (or Fertility Awareness Method) are not Catholic, or even particularly religious. Second, the Church’s teaching are hugely misunderstood, but are being rediscovered anew in recent decades. They are joyfully embraced by youth and older adults alike, both by lifetime Catholics and those (like me) who lived the contraceptive life and found it wanting. I would like, for this reason to share a cause of my joy, and gift to you [item you're enclosing].

Thank you for your consideration.

Very Sincerely,

[an NFP fan]

This is a little late in the day for the Think Again Thursdays feature, but I’ll give it a go…I write and comment, and you, my readers, rally to defend the point in question.

I came across this blog entry, an open letter for a job working for a major birth control peddler. I won’t repost it here, as the entry is no literary repast, full of uncouth condom references and ludicrous claims of “science.” Bottom line, the blogger may, in fact (as her bio says) be opinionated, and perhaps educated in the technical sense, but I invite her to THINK AGAIN.

After her licentious litany referring to various forms of “unreliable” family planning methods–chief of which is withdrawal (the only correct thing in her entire post), she says,

Please know that this rant also applies to Natural family planning/The Rhythm Method (no relation to Rhythm Nation), which are simply other terms for Pull-Out-and-Pray.Those who can’t afford birth control are more likely to resort to methods from before the advances of science and medicine.

Where to begin?

1) It’s not the %#$@! Rhythm Method. Though she refers to science and medicine repeatedly, it’s clear she has no idea what modern Natural Family Planning is, how it works, and the medical professionals who developed it. Though she’s making an effort to be witty and sassy, she ends up looking salicious, daft and dense. Sadly enough, most M.D.’s are about as informed as our dear uninformed blogger.

2) NFP, when used for postponing pregnancy, is 98-99% effective. Yes. Really. Where did she get her stats? Wait, she didn’t refer to any stats. I get mine from clinically approved studies published in international peer-reviewed journals, to start. If you have any studies under your belt, I could guarantee they were funded by Big Pharma and/ or executed poorly (as is most of the data on NFP quoted by her beloved purveyor of carcinogenic pills).

3) The users of NFP are not uneducated, ignorant people. Right, readers? Wait, you can read, can’t you? It seems she thinks that you can’t, and that we’re all backwoods people who di’nt git our learn on ’cause we’s spendin’ too much time getting pregnint on acceedent. I’d be willing to bet most users of NFP have college degrees, if not advanced degrees, and are busy and accomplished, though family-oriented, people. You?

I’m sure Rachel would love to get your feedback on her post.

Update: So far my comment has not been approved/ posted, yet a favorable one posted after me has been…Hmm….

Update: Not surprisingly, our anti-fertility bumpkin is not only not posting comments, but consistently posting adolescent replies to my comments. Therefore, I will post the comments/ replies in the combox.

In your blogroll, you’ve probably come across themed days, like “Quick Take Fridays,” “Wordless Wednesdays,” etc. I had an idea for my own: Think Again Thursdays!

It happens quite often that I will come across some blog, some news story, some “informational” web page that totally dishes on natural methods of family planning, calling it ineffective, the Rhythm Method (it’s not the $#%! Rhythm Method!), or worse, something blasphemous about the church community and people of faith whose religion endorses NFP, family, children, and doesn’t buy into population control and the overpopulation myth.

Well, I can’t ask you all to write a letter or make a comment every day of the week, or every time I run across some misinformed person, which is often, but I thought it would be great to choose one day a week to bring to your attention someone who’s got the wrong idea about NFP, and to rally the pro-fertility troops to comment away, blog away, and email the unfortunate persons who frankly, need to THINK AGAIN.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

1. Check out the featured post of each Thursday, and comment/blog/ write away. Please be charitable, even in the face of disrespect.
2. Tell other people about Think Again Thursdays at NFPworks–use the share button on this entry for your social networking site of choice, or send out an email.
3. Find something ridiculous? Send it to me, and I’ll take a crack at it and post if it’s related.

Stay tuned for todays premier post!