[The first couple paragraphs were written months ago, but quickly got sucked into the stresses of moving, new job, etc. So I'm back.]

If indolence was an achievement, my mantle would be crowded with the crowns, statuettes and medals of one who’s virtually made a career out of insecure resignation and incomplete projects.

This post is a sort of public examination of my writer’s conscience and apology for giving much less than I am able to. It took me a decade to realize–more than superficially–that I am smart. In all honesty (which is what humility is) I am really smart, and I have been given a suitcase full of talents and gifts on this little journey I’m on. But more or less for my whole life (there are a few exceptions), I’ve stashed my bag ‘o gifts under the bed where my will has been napping for decades.

I’ve always struggled with this sanguine tendency to be ultra passionate in the moment, which dies quickly once removed from the fire. Faced with a fabulous person, an interesting topic, or stimulating topic or conversation, I immerse myself. Then…..

Though I’ve been aware of this tension between my promise and my actual performance–I’ve labeled myself a consummate failure for years–it was really this past winter and spring (Lent in particular) when I finally read Lukewarmness: The Devil in Disguise, that I realized how seriously I’ve not lived my capacity for great things. Under the guise of forgiving myself for my humanity, I’ve ceded the struggle for holiness. This  simple but striking book about how little compromises in the everyday lead to calamity for the soul and the beneficiaries of our God-given gifts was a real cause for examination of conscience.

Now you may think I’m being too hard on myself, but that’s probably because you don’t know me extremely well. Despite my lukewarmness for the better part of five years, God’s used me to do some very cool things for his glory. However, that doesn’t mean I’ve been  as faithful to my interior life and hard-working as I could be, does it? No.

So, to my God I’ve apologized. To my past employers I apologize. To my friends and colleagues, I apologize. To all those who’ve invited me to write for them, I apologize for rarely or not delivering altogether. (Right Strat? Right, Joseph? Right Christina?) For the latter I am particularly contrite, because I’ve come to realize that not only do I love to write, but that I am called to write. I have a seed of artistry in me, which has been poorly sewn and stewarded for several years.

So, as I begin a new journey and challenge as small school administrator in rural Wyoming, pray that I will remember the gift within me, the call to cultivate it, and the imperative to persevere and to finish what I’ve begun. The Lord will bring to completion what He’s begun in me (Phil 1.6), and I only pray I can be faithful in the present moment, always moving forward.

1 John 4.4

Faithful blog readers and friends, thank you for your words and messages of encouragement in these last months of silence. Stay tuned for more….

Matthew Archibold at Creative Minority Report, one of my fav funny, faithy commentary blogs, discovers first-hand how ironic contracepting organic folks are.

Kathleen, a WordPress blogger at So Much to Say, So Little Time, is writing an article about NFP for CCL’s Family Foundations, and is wondering if you can answer a question or two or four. (Btw, don’t put your reply in the comments. Please email Kathleen.)

Dustin over at Engaged Marriage did a guest post over at Project M, entitled “Everything You Wanted to Know About Natural Family Planning.” He covers the basics–what is it, how it “works”–but also gives his response to some regular, very honest questions having to do with the real life practice of NFP. Check it out.

Mark Shea, devotee of the Apostle of Common Sense, has birthed a mini-conversation at his blog, inviting conversation on the NFP witch hunt taking place here (with NFP being the witch hunted for–not myself, except for approximately two days per my cycle).

Some of my favorite comments (there are more):

Of all the objections that I’ve heard to NFP, the silliest and most out of touch has to be the charge that is somehow violates chastity to teach it to couples taking marriage prep classes.

I got married almost three years (and two kids) ago, in a diocese known for being pretty orthodox. The marriage prep was taught by an older married couple and some great Dominicans. My fiancee and I were one of twenty or so other couples. Other than us, there was ONE other couple not currently cohabiting. And only two or three others had even heard the Church’s teaching on contraception.

And NFP is the problem?

By the end of the first class, one woman was in tears of rage because of being told for the first time that contraception was wrong.

When it takes until a marriage prep class for people to be informed of the Church’s teaching on contraception, there is a serious problem. And it’s not that NFP is being taught too widely.

Most of the people there knew that the church doesn’t approve of premarital sex. They knew that the church didn’t approve of abortion. But the problem at the root of things–contraception–had never been explained to them.

Thankfully, one of the Dominican priests patiently explained the reasons for the Church’s teachings. I ended up interjecting when the woman who had wept so angrily stood up and announced that her wedding was ruined, because “now when I get married, all I will think about is how the Church is judging me.”

I can’t remember exactly what I said, but I borrowed something that (I think) was kind of a paraphrase of one of Pope Benedict’s comments. Something along the lines of, “No. The Church, and God, loves you and is not judging you here. You are judging the Church. Catholic teaching on sexuality isn’t a series of negative responses, a NO you can’t do this, and NO you can’t do that. It’s a series of positive responses. YES, you accept life. YES, you accept your spouse without barriers. But in order to embrace the YES of married life, we have to say NO to selfishness. And that includes contraception.”

Surprisingly, that got a round of applause. And some people actually got up and took the NFP pamphlets that had been provided to the class.

I sincerely hope that more priests and more Catholic leaders embrace and teach NFP. So good on Jessica Smith. Fight the good fight.—J.H.

Don–I’ve read Fr. Ripperger on liturgy and other topics. He seems pretty much right-on when it comes to those topics. On pastoral concerns such as NFP… not so much. To be charitable, perhaps it is due to being more of an academic than a pastor. His objections don’t hold water when it comes to concrete reality in most modern parishes. I hardly thing the greatest offense to the chastity of most young couples is going to be a series of cross-sections and a cycle chart. I can see more titillating things just by driving down the freeway and encountering a billboard.—J.H.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
ROFL.

With all due respect to the good father, I wonder if he is not in fact a little sheltered from what is actually confronting young Catholics out there in the world.

I can’t watch a football game, use the internet, or even walk down the street without seeing advertisements that depict men and women in sultry poses and scanty clothing. I can’t go to the gym (or even use the sidewalk) without, of course, seeing men and women in tight attire gyrating and jiggling.

To think that a couple who has managed to remain chaste is going to be driven over the edge by anatomical diagrams is ludicrous. Has Father SEEN anatomical diagrams lately?

Honestly, if my husband-to-be is driven into uncontrollable fits of lust by a drawing of a fallopian tube, that’s something I’d rather know before the wedding!

I’m sure when the presenter was talking about testing cervical mucus before using the toilet, everyone in the audience was overcome with desire! How surprising it did not turn into an orgy!

I also love how the NFP detractors completely sidestep all the other benefits to women that NFP provides, such as making her familiar with her body so that she knows when something goes wrong–plus I always know when my period is coming. I’m not having sex, and I’m not yet married, but I thank God for NFP methods.–J

Do you belong to the “NFP cult”?

Blogger and Seattle acquaintance Mark Shea recently gave NFPworks a little nod in a post, which has attracted a clergyman in the combox who snarkily calls (and implies that I think this) NFP the “8th Sacrament” and a sympathetic commenter implies that NFP fans are (or can be) “worshippers” of the “NFPcult.”

Now [taking a deep breath]. If you listen to this homily by Fr. Chad Ripperger, FSSP, which isn’t the priest in the combox, but it seems that they must be on the same page. (I’d really like to hear Fr. Perroni affirm this.)

Anyhow, the homily, unlike most watered-down, feel good verbosity is actually catechetical, and really quite decent. I appreciate the frank approach to catechesis that doesn’t underestimate his congregation. (Though I have a feeling this homily wasn’t given in the average suburban parish–I’d like to see that!)

“Contraception is against every category of ‘natural inclination’.” [Amen.]

I like how he begins by explaining the natural law, quoting St. Thomas, giving examples, and then speaks at length about Holy Matrimony and the Nuptial Act. I like what he has to say–even the part where he strongly emphasizes that NFP is only to be used for just, serious and grave reasons! Despite what Fr. Perroni and friends might think of this, I agree! I may not hit people over the head with my “grave reasons stick” when I begin a conversation with a Catholic (or non-Catholic) on contraception, but I believe what HMC teaches, and stick to it.

“Provided you have the right intention…it’s a morally licit thing.” [Amen.]

Then he goes on to articulate that artificial insemination and In Vitro Fertilization violate the unity of meaning of the nuptial act, meaning that they separate the unitive (by diminishing or eliminating the need for a physical union) from the procreative (the openness to children and hopefully conception).

“Some Catholics mistakenly believe that because the Church is pro-family and pro-children, that somehow that means that any means whatsoever is okay to attain having children, and that’s not true. The Church doesn’t allow us to do that precisely because she does not want us to violate the rule of God, and ultimately for us to lose our souls as a result of it.” [Amen.]

But he quickly transitions to his discussion of the Church’s only approved method of postponing pregnancy (as well as achieving pregnancy and diagnosing women’s wellness issues, the latter which he omits, either for brevity or lack of knowledge on this): NFP. Here’s where we transition to a more reactionary slippery slope:

“It is a mortal sin to use NFP without a sufficient reason.” [Well...yes and no. Debatable.]

Diocesan Family Life Offices & NFP Instructors: OUCH.

“The teaching of NFP , however, has become a bit problematic as of late. In addition to the fact that some people treat it like it’s the 8th Sacrament, and somehow or another if you’re not practicing NFP when you’re married that you’re committing sin–it’s silly, and quite frankly, it’s insulting to people’s intelligence.”

“It’s okay to teach philosophy or the philosophical and theological dimensions to NFP in a common group–I don’t have any problem with that; it’s a good thing. (And by common group we mean mixed company, and things of that sort.)”

“But there are practices that have arisen in virtually every diocese in this country in which detailed anatomical descriptions and even pictures of the two genders is given to people in mixed company. Now let me set this up as a scenario: you have  people who are about to get married. The struggle for chastity is extreme already. And then they put pictures in front of them, and then they wonder why they’re fornicating. Hello!? The fact of the matter is that this is putting people in the proximate occasion of sin. It’s mortally sinful to be doing this….But to actually give anatomical details to people before they’re married in mixed company is utterly inappropriate.“

“It’s mortally sinful to be doing this [giving NFP classes to couples before they're married in mixed company]…It’s a sin against modesty!”

Soo…..where to begin?

First, I don’t think being part of the NFP Movement–either by using it, promoting it or teaching it, that it makes one a de facto member of the “NFP cult.” (See my newly revised “About” section to know where I stand on this.)

However, Father does have a point that some people become so devoted to Natural Family Planning, and are so eager to “convert” contraceptive users, that they pitch NFP in such a way as to present it as “Catholic Birth Control” or “Catholic Contraception.” This is wrong, and I hint at this a bit in my “7 Habits” post. It’s true. Sometimes in our enthusiasm for the Church’s teaching against contraception, we give the impression that NFP is a requirement to be holy, and that it’s a given in marriage, when, in fact, NFP (if you’re Catholic), is to be used only to achieve pregnancy, postpone pregnancy for just, serious or grave reasons, or to identify, diagnose and treat women’s wellness issues, including infertility.

Second, I also believe modesty is a vital virtue, one that’s lost on our generation nearly completely. However, to essentially equate an NFP class (and therefore–GASP! Anatomy diagrams!) to pedalling pornography IS RIDICULOUS! Further to accuse nearly every diocesan program (and therefore the individuals running the program, and their bishops!) who sponsors NFP Instruction for the engaged (for most it’s optional, and a few mandatory) OF MORTAL SIN WITHOUT EXCEPTION OR MITIGATION scandalizes me, frankly.

Father clearly leans towards concupiscence with his mention of the “scandal of NFP instruction,” but it seems to me he may not be aware of who the average couple getting married in the Church is. (Now that I think about it, he probably does know and wouldn’t witness the vows of most of the people getting married today.) Diagrams which enable them to learn about and appreciate God’s gift of fertility most likely don’t scandalous those going through NFP Instruction, and certainly wouldn’t scandalize the average couple who frankly are largely already sexuality active and cohabitating.

Prudence is the key to chastity and modesty. Obviously, if a couple has a sensitivity to things sexual or a tendency to lust, and their purity is strong and sensitive, then heck no–stay away from the NFP classes! But by and large, these are not the couples who are going through Engaged Formation in Diocesan programs.

Kyrie Eleison. I’ve gone on long enough. There’s a balance between the “cult of NFP” and the reactionary extremism of aforementioned brands of providentialism as fostered by certain clergy.

What do you think the balance is?

[Update: The discussion in the combox has brought some balanced perspectives, but mostly not. It seems that most people did not listen the homily and statement in question, nor did many care to reply to points made in my actual post. Comments are now closed.]

Dustin over at Engaged Marriage did a blog entry on the TIME piece, “Green Sex, anyone?”, which has yielded more than a couple comments, most profusely visited upon by commenter named crow who, among his many words, recommends natural abortafacients to his pro-life audience, copies and pastes from 4th-hand source web sites for his evidence and proof, and manages not to address the problem of falling fertility rates that are imploding the world’s economies.

I’d be much more interested in “dialogue” (generous term, Dustin–listening to crow is like trying to drink out of a fire hose spewing rocks) if commenters like crow 1) cited actual scientific sources, 2) addressed the issue of falling fertility rates, and 3) acknowledged that pro-fertility and pro-family people might actually know something about environmental causes and care about them.

Dustin’s more patient than I am. At this point, crow’s just being a combox rioter, throwing his links like rocks over the fence, not really caring what’s happening on the other side or who he’s inflicting with his myopic opinions.  Hey, I’m all about recycling, buying locally grown food, sustainable construction, new fuel technologies, saving water and everything associated with being a good steward, but when you can’t even address what people are saying to you and listen–human beings, like yourself, born of a woman–that’s the end of the conversation and the continuation of prayer and fasting.

On Google Reader, NFPworks has 55 subscribers–regular readers in the Google account.

How do you subscribe? If you have a Google account, you just go to the upper left hand corner and click “Reader.” If you don’t see it, click “more,” and you’re there. Next, click “add a subscription,” and search “NFPworks” or another favorite blog. Make sure you’re following the main blog (the web page should just read www.nfpworks.wordpress.com), not a specific entry because if you just follow an entry, you’ll just get the updates on that one entry/ it’s comments.

Sweet! Keep it up, friends, and don’t be afraid to link to me (helps my search engine rankings). Also, if you see something NFP/ Humanae Vitae related on another site or blog, let me know!

Happy subscribing!

Genevieve over at Feminine Genius reports on the news of the growing trend against contraception. (h/t Natural Family Life.)