For the practice of love of God and neighbor and self, I recommend highly St. Ignatius Loyola’s Rules for Discernment, which come from his spiritual masterpiece “The Spiritual Exercises.” (I know a religious order who preaches the most rockin’ spiritual exercises. Do it! What a gift. You’ll see.) These are rules of the spiritual life based on good psychology and the awareness that we are not alone in the spiritual life, for better or worse. Well, rule number five states,

In time of desolation never to make a change; but to be firm and constant in the resolutions and determination in which one was the day preceding such desolation, or in the determination in which he was in the preceding consolation. Because, as in consolation it is rather the good spirit who guides and counsels us, so in desolation it is the bad, with whose counsels we cannot take a course to decide rightly. (Thank you, www.cfpeople.org)

Translation: don’t make a decision or do anything rash when you’re feeling desolate, i.e., upset, melancholy, frustrated, confused, angry, etc. Sometimes this desolation comes from our own funk, some times it comes from the bad spirit (could it be…satan?), and sometimes both. So don’t do rash things when you’re upset. It’s never good.

END OF PSA.

How this applies in my own life is that this past week I received an email that frustrated me. My articles were pulled from Family Foundations for a reason I’m not sure I understood or agreed with. (Reality check: this happens all the time to writers, and sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Buck up and move on.) In my frustration and confusion, I decided to…..follow the fifth rule of discernment (or the commandments, for crying out loud)? NO! Absolutely not. That would make me consistent and balanced. No, I decided to take the path of least resistance and post an update to the entry below in a tone that, though not intended to be, was uncharitable. For the fifty one readers who saw that, I apologize to  you for setting a bad example of internet courtesy, and to my friends at Family Foundations, because I’m grateful for anyone fighting for a voice for fertility and families today. For everyone, else, do don’t what I did, and keep on reading. For everyone: pray for me, and take the spiritual exercises for yourself!