I went to the doctor for a check-up the other day. Since I’ve moved a lot, I’ve had a lot of doctors. I’m pretty used to handling the moment where they ask you what birth control you’re on, or figure out why the heck you’re not on contraceptives. You know how it goes. You have the stories.

I’ve schooled a holistic doc with an MD who had prejudicial ideas about NFP. I’ve sent a number of information packets. I had a pretty unsuccessful venture with an OB who I’m pretty sure worships the ACOG party line, and who by the way, made me cry with her anti-child, anti-fertility rhetoric and completely terrible and offensive bedside manner. I just about walked out before the appointment was done, but she agreed to do the tests I was asking for when I think she realized what she had said was inappropriate and even could be disciplined for it.

But I’ve never actually had a doctor basically recommend the Rhythm method to me, even though you find this kind of information on the web all the time.

It went like this (maybe imagine this as an SNL skit–insert Cherie Oteri character as my doc):

Doc: And birth control?

My husband (joint check up): We use NFP.

Me: We use a fertility based natural method.

Doc: Ok. So…any kids? [Nice assumption there.]

Me: No, not yet. We’re open right now. We’d like kids, but we’re not actively trying. I have sub-fertility, so it’s going to be difficult, and we’re not at a place to start that process personally or financially yet.

Doc: [faking objective indifference with supportive enthusiasm] So, in case you’re trying, just know that you ovulate on or around day 14. [I suppress a laugh, turn it into a smile, offering up her unknowing condescension and outdated medicine. She mistakes my silence for needing more information.] You know, the egg lasts about a day, and sperm can last three to five days [well done--good science there].

Me: [Slight nod]: Great, thanks. We’re actually pretty well versed in the whole  fertility thing. The method we use, Creighton FertilityCare, is actually a clinical step up from traditional NFP. The Doctor who created it has been researching the biological signs of fertility for 30+ years, and is able to not only to read fertility, but also discern some of the underlying causes of infertility. So…we’re pretty good on that front for now.

So, if I decide to keep this lady as my GP, I’m wondering how to broach the topic again. The reason why I didn’t correct her is that, like most doctors, she has a chip on her shoulder, and thinks she always knows more than her patients. I think in certain cases, it’s best to build a relationship before you launch into the full NFP advocacy/ correct their bad gynoperceptions. Perhaps I’m gun shy since the ACOG monomaniac shot me down. Should I invite the new doc to a Creighton Intro Session? Would she even go if it wasn’t given by a doctor? Do I buy a copy of the NaPro textbook and hit her over the head with it?

Painting by Neilson Carlin at Our Lady of Guadalupe Shrine

St. Gianna Molla, mother and physician, is called “the martyr of maternal love.” If you’re not familiar with St. Gianna’s life, read St. Gianna’s story here or here. Quick facts:

Born: 4 October 1922
Died: 28 April 1962
Canonized: 16 May 2004 by Pope John Paul II
Feast Day: April 28
Patron Saint of: mothers, physicians

Imagine the extraordinary occasion of attending the canonization to sainthood of your own spouse. Many people love and admire their husband or wife dearly, and many even have attained great virtue. Even of the holiest of laypeople, could you imagine attending a Mass declaring the heroic virtue and miraculous intercession of your deceased beloved surrounded by multitudes and lead by the Vicar of Christ?

On May 16, 2004 Pietro Molla, husband of Gianna Beretta Molla, did just that, with his three living children in attendance, including the youngest, Gianna Emmanuella, for whom her mother died.

St. Gianna is the first laywoman and doctor to be canonized, and is truly a saint for modern times. Pope John Paul II said in his homily on the day of her canonization,

Following the example of Christ, who “having loved his own… loved them to the end” (Jn 13: 1), this holy mother of a family remained heroically faithful to the commitment she made on the day of her marriage. The extreme sacrifice she sealed with her life testifies that only those who have the courage to give of themselves totally to God and to others are able to fulfil themselves. Through the example of Gianna Beretta Molla, may our age rediscover the pure, chaste and fruitful beauty of conjugal love, lived as a response to the divine call! “

But before St. Gianna decided God was calling her to the vocation of Holy Matrimony, though, she discerned very carefully, and even considered a consecrated vocation. She meditated, spent time in silent prayer, and patiently waited for the Lord to reveal His will. We should all do the same thing, waiting for the Lord in His own time, never forcing his hand, and obeying with great swiftness and generosity once we do understand His will.

Helen Hull Hitchcock, director of Women for Faith & Family, explains very eloquently St. Gianna’s beautiful balance between her vocational life as wife and mother, and her professional life as physician,

“In canonizing Gianna Beretta Molla this spring (2004), the Church officially recognized the extraordinary sanctity of a woman who chose to live an ordinary life – as a professional and, later, as a wife and mother.  Though she had once considered entering a religious order, instead she practiced medicine (receiving her medical degree in 1949, and her specialty in pediatrics in 1952). She devoted herself to caring for her patients, and her selflessness and dedication as a physician endeared her to the people.  But it was not only her practice of medicine that influenced them. She regarded her profession as a mission through which she could aid and nurture both bodies and souls. The young doctor’s devotion to her Catholic faith was well known in her community, and especially her instruction of young Catholic girls in their faith.”

So today, give thanks for the life and death of St. Gianna Beretta Molla, and pray for the unity of families and the holiness and conversion of physicians, that they may serve unselfishly, choose life and stop prescribing contraception.

Ways to celebrate St. Gianna’s feast day (honestly, it’s tough because it’s also the feast day of two other great saints, St. Peter Chanel & St. Louis Mary de Montfort):

• Thank a mother for their heroic and ordinary sacrifices.
• Thank a medical professional that doesn’t prescribe contraception or perform/ cooperate in sterilizations
• Read a book on the life of St. Gianna–St. Gianna Molla: Wife, Mother & Doctor by Pietro Molla, Elio Guerriero, James G. Colbert (Ignatius Press)
• Pray for a physician or pharmacist you know who still prescribes contraception, and give them Patty Schneier’s “Prove It, God! CD” or the book, “Physicians Healed.”
• Make a donation to the Catholic Medical Association.
• Order St. Gianna Holy Cards, and include them in your Mother’s Day cards.
• Check out St. Gianna on Facebook, or see one of her Facebook Groups here.